[CHIRP ♪♪]

FADE IN:

INT. UA DORMS — EVENING

Darkness washes over the corridors. The day is ending as the mischievous flirt with the onset of curfew. Meanwhile, the well-behaved find themselves tucked inside their beds, eagerly awaiting tomorrow’s adventure.

Traversing the halls is CUPID — a plucky first-year dressed in a giant diaper, wings, and a halo. A bow and matching quiver rests upon his back. Envelope in hand, he skips through the hall.

Students question his attire and, more importantly, his motives.

CUPID
No time for answers! I’m already late.

STUDENT
It’s 8:03 PM…?

CUPID
It’s e-love-n o’ clock.

Everyone groans.

Cupid arrives at the door and gives three, heft knocks. Calling out, he’s sure to be as obnoxious as possible — as ordered.

CUPID
Love letter for a “Mattea Blasco”. Going once, going twice…!

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Thea