[CHIRP ♪♪]

Two men stop in front of an alleyway.

“Where the hell did he go?”

“This way!”

“Are you sure?”

“No, but do you have any better ideas?!”

“Ugh…”

They run off.

Chirp lets out a deep sigh. He’s safe.

Long gone were the days of him running from heroes. Or so he thought. His past as a vigilante had caught up to him. And despite the situation he found himself in — working alongside the government and a few hero agencies as a double agent against the criminal underbelly — he still had to play the part of a man running from the law. This time, however, he was breaking it for his self-preservation. The common people wouldn’t look at him the same.

Fortunately, they gave him a head start. So, he’s slumped against a trash can. No place to go. It’s not like his home is safe anymore, y’know? He might be able to get away with going there a few times, but they’d catch him eventually.

Maybe a pit stop once the heat’s off him.

Two men close in from the opposite side of the alleyway.

“Whose this dumb bird by our trashcan?”

“I dunno but they look like a dumb bird. Real dumb.”

Riveting.

“Just catching my breath fellas. There are heroes that way.” Gabe points in their direction. “Be careful.”

“You hear that? This scrub thinks we need to be careful.”

“Hehe, yeah. What a scrub! We don’t need to be fuckin’ careful… scrub!”

“Hey, I’m not lookin’ for trouble,” Gabe said. “I’m just a petty criminal tryna make a dishonest livin’.”

“Oh, you’re lying to us? Lying so you can steal?”

“Nah, nah. We gotta teach this dumb bird a lesson.”

“Let’s teach ‘em a lesson.”

“Yeah, a lesson. Don’t try to steal from us, bitch.”

One takes out a switchblade. Another a bat. Some things never change, even if you’re one of them.

---

Bakiri Retsu

[Bakiri Retsu]

It'd been a while since she'd last returned to Shinjuku but eventually Retsu's wandering had brought her back here. Close to her old home but not quite there, as if she were the moon orbiting its earth, doomed to forever circle for the moment she'd head back it was likely to mean her doom. For now at least. She didn't intend for society to rob her of that which she built up herself forever. One day she'd be back to stay.

At the moment however her mission was a far less ambitious one. Retsu was simply here to threaten let some old contacts know she was still around and mop up the carrion feeders that would have inevitably invaded her territory while she was gone. Speaking of which, the pair she'd just followed into an alley.

"Funny ya mention stealing," Retsu said in the same tone one would mention the weather while she casually sauntered their way. "What with y'all bein' on mah fookin' turf."

Each step took her closer and close to the armed men yet she still did not display even the slightest care in the world, her one open eye glaring at each of them in turn as if she were looking at rats in her garden. Her gaze briefly flicked to the man on the ground before she addressed the pair of goons, deciding to handle things one problem at a time.

"Now, ah dunno if y'all care ta listen but ah've got a litle piece of advice for y'all fooks. Go the fook away 'fore ah make ya go away."

------

Tags: CHIRP ♪♪

[CHIRP ♪♪]

Great. A turf war!

As if being potentially mugged by his ‘brothers in arms’ wasn’t enough, now he was caught in a conflict he wanted no part of. When he escaped from the heroes, he thought he’d have some time to investigate the scene and create counter measures. At least arm himself with a weapon or something — he hadn’t even had time to search through a dumpster for a metal pipe.

“Look at that, I’m so out of place here. I’m not tryna take anyone’s turf. All situational, I think it’s best I let you all sort it out.” Gabe tries to exit the situation to no avail.

“Don’t you fuckin’ move.”

Gabe stops, sighs, then turns around.

The two men are back to back. One with the switch blade toward Chirp and the other with the bat toward Retsu. As she approached, one nudged the other and they both faced her.

“On second thought, help us out and we’ll let you keep the alley.” They talked tough, but those were the words of a coward.

“Good deal. Even better one coming to mind,” He looks to Retsu. Yikes. She’s terrifying. “I help you clock these guys and I’ll get out of your hair? I don’t even want any turf. I bet the TOA is awful.”

For the love of god let’s hope she’s reasonable.

---

Bakiri Retsu

[Bakiri Retsu]

"Haaaaaaaaaaah?!" Retsu replied eloquently. She had no idea what a TOA was but clearly he was calling her territory awful. Sure, she knew it'd been flooded with punks since she wasn't around to put the fear of Bakuretsu into every bug that thought they could come crawling out of the woodwork but that wasn't the point. Whether she agreed or not didn't matter. She had a reputation to uphold and there was no way she could let something like that slide. "Turf ain't good enough fer ya huh, fooker? We'll be 'aving word 'bout that."

She glared at the lenses in his mask, her gaze looking past them as if to stare him not just straight in the eye but all the way into his soul. A bird mask. When she'd returned to mop up the carrion she hadn't expected it to be quite that literal. It was quite the silly and unthreatening design, the woman that hadn't quite managed to beat a goose thought. Not something she'd be caught dead wearing. Clearly, unless he had a particularly good medical plan, he disagreed.

Even so he wasn't the priority. Insults came in levels and actions speak louder than words. The two punks in front of her were disrespecting her far more. Unlike what the audacious man in the back insultingly believed Retsu didn't think she needed any help dealing with two badly armed goons. Not after all the other shit she's dealt with.

"A knoife? Oh ah'm fookin' terrified." Retsu said mockingly while drawing her weapon of choice from its holster at her side. "Dumb fookin' weapon. Then again given that y'r buddy picked fookin' sports equipment ya ain't exactly got a good example do ya. So ya know what, ah'll play nice and give ya a headstart. Ah'm thinking about five..."

She continued while letting out a hum as if deep in thought, her eye briefly looking to the side as she did. Then she looked right at the goon with the knife once more.

"Four..."

------

Tags: Bakiri Retsu

[CHIRP ♪♪]

“How are you mad that I’m not trying to steal from you?” Chirp was exasperated. Somehow, she was more rage-inducing than the other two who were wholly incompetent. They began to back down from her challenge without a swing. Worse, actually. They started bowing.

“That’s just pathetic,” Gabe said. “Not even a little backbone?”

“Don’t need a backbone. We realized who she was. We’re not lookin’ to die.” The first said, bringing his partner’s head down with his left hand.

“If you know what’s best, you’ll bow, too.” The other said.

“Anyway,” Back to the first. “Ignore that guy. We have a change of heart. We want to work for you. Free of charge.”

They were lying. They had no intentions of sticking around, they wanted to get out of here alive and then make their escape once they were free. Planned to leave Japan wholesale. It was not worth it if they were beefing with this lunatic.

“Okay, so…” Chirp sighed. “You’re prolly gonna mad at this, too, but… uh, why are they bowing? Who are you?”

This might have been the worst vibes he’s ever felt.

---

Bakiri Retsu

[Bakiri Retsu]

"Oh, ya got a problem with me bein' mad too? Y'r really fookin' pushin' it bud." Retsu said with enough edge in her tone to cut straight through things such as 'logic', 'common sense' or 'calming down'. "Can't say y'r fookin' wrong about them tho." She muttered under her breath with a snort. Remembering what she was doing she took a step closer.

"Ah coulda sworn ah said fookin' run or at least implied it." Retsu half-growled before continuing her count. "Three..."

She stopped when they suddenly offered to work for her. Did they think she was that dumb. That she'd survived so far on nothing but luck? The audacity of these no-names. 

"Why the fook would I get mad at a question?" She angrily replied to his question. "The hells are you implying? Nah, ya know what. Ah dun' care."

Somehow of the three people in front of her the man actively taking offense to her every action got the least on her nerves. The empty platitudes made the scar on the back of her neck itch. She knew their kind and what they'd try to do the moment she dropped her guard.

"Name's Bakuretsu bah the way." Retsu answered Chirp before looking back down at the still bowing goons and pulling the slide of her pistol. "Two. Ah'm real fookin' tired today. If ya get blood on mah boots ah'll find y'r families and make them clean it off."

------

Tags: CHIRP ♪♪

[CHIRP ♪♪]

“I was, actually.” Chirp realizes he’s in over his head. But even if he runs, it’s not like he can outrun a bullet. If he’s going to die here, then he’s gonna make sure he has some idea of who this person is and how their mind works. He stops, only because she’s addressing the men in front of her, only to be brought back into the conversation. “But I’m over it.”

“See, I think you get mad for a reason…” Gabe is so, so dumb. Instead of letting himself fall prey to their tempo, he’s going to play his own cards. What do you do when you meet crazy? What do you do when you meet violent? Gabe has one game plan and it always worked.

Flirt.

“If you’re not mad at questions, maybe I can ask you 20 more? Over candlelight?” Gabe says. “My treat.”

At this point, the men actually run. They hear her counting down to numbers that rumors said she couldn’t count up to. And with their offer rejected, and the idiot of a distraction next to them, maybe they might make this out alive.

“Chirp,” Gabe replies. “The handsomest bird you’ll meet.”

---

Bakiri Retsu

[Bakiri Retsu]

Her eye twitched. 'Get mad for a reason'? Of course she was. In fact, she was staring right at said reason. Who the fuck did he think he wa-

Well that wasn't what she was expecting.

"Ahahahaha!" Retsu burst out laughing. That answered the question. He was batshit insane. Either that or he had no idea who she was even after hearing her name. "One." She finished while aiming her gun at the back of one of the goons that narrowly managed to duck out of the alley in time. With a click of her tongue she lowered the gun once more.

"Ya know what? Sure. Ah ain't payin' tho." Retsu answered. She was certain there was more to this. Maybe he'd been sent to gather information on her? Perhaps it was ambition driving him, seeking to usurp her position or steal her territory the moment he got the chance. He did seem awfully concerned with convincing her that wasn't the case after all. Who knows, maybe he was even after her weaponry or the connections she managed to establish. 

Twenty questions would be more than enough to find out and once she knew she'd no longer have a use for him.

"Ain't a high bar ta set but still a bold fookin' claim when y'r wearin' a mask." Retsu fired back, sure, the only competitor of his she could think of was a six-headed goose  -which wasn't exactly  looker- that she absolutely hadn't lost to no matter what anyone said, but that didn't mean she'd let his statement slide.

"Well then," Retsu continued while vaguely aiming her pistol in his direction. "Lead the way."

------

Tags: CHIRP ♪♪

[CHIRP ♪♪]

Damn it.

How many times could Gabriel cut through someone’s tough exterior before learning his lesson? He was handsome, charming, and knew how to press people’s buttons. It was a dangerous combination that led to the pantaloons of many a woman dropping to the floor only to be met with the cold, sting of rejection.

A silver lining was a silver lining. And he had guaranteed not only his life but the lives of those thugs who deserved at least a few nonletha bullets to the rear. Then, he was promptly met with a pistol in his general direction — the implication obvious.

“The mask makes me the bird,” He wipes tears in pantomime. “Underneath the mask, I’m just handsome.”

Gabriel leads the way, thinking about how to squeeze a few more hours out of this life of his. If worse came to worse, for the sake of his mission, he would make Bakiri Retsu fall in love with him.

“Follow me.”

---

Bakiri Retsu

[coffee]

I'M COMMANDER SHEPARD, AND I APPROVE THIS MISSION

Tell me you're in over your head without telling me you're in over your head. xD Nice work y'all!

Chirp: 7750XP + 7500XP = 15,250XP

Retsu: 18,000XP + 7500XP = 25,500XP

tag: CHIRP ♪♪ Bakiri Retsu