[Kurokami Gen]

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Once upon a time

Before this story started. After the last one ended.

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written for Ana Borovsky

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Let’s turn back the pendulum, to a time before the elements turned against us, before those fancy armors became the talk of the town, and before those monsters emerged from the harbor. To a story hidden under the flashing lights and endless fights that make up the Hero Student stereotype. To a story no one really knew
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You wouldn’t have heard of it, it was before your time. It might as well have been a different world. Most of today’s star students were getting ready for their Entrance Exams, and our protagonists were way too unpopular for those on campus to care about this nonsense. Only an unlucky few were privy to the drama brewing beneath the surface. Some heard bits and pieces twisted out of context, but the end remained a mystery. Until now, that is.
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The 21st century had come, shaken humanity to its core, and it was just about to go. While everybody was making plans to watch the fireworks, Kurokami Gen was hard at work putting out a fire of his own. He’d really screwed the pooch on this one, and all for a stupid bet. He was just supposed to get a date before the end of the year, and surprise, surprise, that didn’t go well for our villainous Hero. He could already hear them say it. “The Incel of the Century.” Not a great title, but he definitely earned it. It was High School all over again.
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Even then, he never expected a simple, idiotic dare to snowball out of control like this. Now there was a real chance someone got hurt. Now, this would've would be a normal Tuesday night for our all-powerful asshole, but there was one small problem at play. The collateral damage? It just so happened to be the one person in this stupid school he actually cared about.
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He still didn’t know how, but see, against all odds, Kurokami Gen had made a friend. No, that wasn’t really it, was it? If it were just that, things would’ve been much easier. Burning bridges was his specialty, so why was he having so much trouble torching this one? Oh, he was in trouble, alright.
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And out of all people, too…
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December 31st, 2099[break]
U.A. University, Girls’ Dormitory.[break]
Ana Borovsky’s Doorstep.[break]
23:57.


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After having some very real conversations with people he wouldn’t want to credit, Gen made the most important decision of his life. Only 180 seconds to go until the credits rolled on the most important period in human history. And instead of spending that special night with a family he loathed, he chose to try and make things up to the person he… hurt.
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Countless identical rooms passed Gen by on the way over, until finally, her door came into his view, and his steps into her earshot. This was it. Bits of snow fell from his parka as he raised an ice-cold hand, only to stop just shy. “You’re making a mistake.” Fear co-opted his inner voice, freezing him on the spot. A deluge of self-defeating questions were about to rain down on his subconscious, the same ones he’d heard a thousand times, and for the first time, he didn’t have a smart-ass answer waiting for them.
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“What are you even trying to do here? Make things right? You think just, saying sorry and coming clean is gonna fix anything? You gotta’ be fuckin’ kidding me here. You know that’s not how it works! If anyone else were trying to pull this bullshit, you’d laugh in their face and call them an idiot! You know how this is gonna’ end. You know you’re gonna fuck this up, so why are you even trying? Why don’t you stop wasting everyone’s time and run away, like you always do? Hell, you’re such a dumb motherfucker, I bet you don’t even know what you’re gonna sa-”
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Tap, Tap, Tap.[break][break]

His tangent was stopped dead by the sound of his knuckles hitting the door. Something had given him the strength to follow through, for once. Maybe it had something to do with how he felt during those movie nights or maybe it was the words of some other Support Student who’s not worth talking about right now, but one way or another, Kurokami Gen finally saw a low road he wouldn’t take.
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“Hey, Bri-” The playful nickname came out of his mouth way too easily, to the point where he had to all but bite his tongue to stop himself. “Ana. I know I’m a few minutes early, but could we just… forget about the bet for a sec' and talk?”
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[attr="class","curragebot"] You're just bleeding with greed, and doing time for the crime. [break] Believing miracles empty, breaking into pieces plenty.

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[Ana Borovsky]

OR CAN THEY?

TURNING BACK THE PENDULUM

TW: Self-harm & implied abuse.

What was yet another apocalypse in the face of Time’s unyielding march? Whether culprit or survivor, it saw the end of everything one way or another. People, nations, planets, galaxies. All succumbed in the wake of its passage. Someday it would lay claim to the universe before it moved onto the next, but that day had yet to come. For now, another faced the crumbling of a world as sole witness, and casualty, as the clock ticked steadily onward to the new year. An empire that fell before it had even truly risen would never be known by those that celebrated even as Ana mourned. It was an emotion she understood only a fraction more than its source from a lack of experience and external explanation in the absence of such. If only not knowing made her immune to feeling, but it didn’t. Instead it highlighted a heavy, if intangible and undefinable by herself, loss because it was her first.

She had started to build a life for herself far away from the confines of her own origins. A fledgling endeavor. A single friend. Maybe two. Maybe one was more. Maybe not. But the potential was there and it fascinated Ana. She had lived a life without potential. Without possibilities. There was only purpose paving a predetermined path and even that had been given to her by another and hidden away in her peripheral thoughts where it quietly guided her actions.

Perhaps that reason alone had doomed her efforts from the start. Unsanctioned aberrations in dictated behavior that they were. She had been warned. There was no place for attachments in her work. There was only science. There was only success. To what goal, Ana knew naught. Rather, she could not really recall. All her mind produced were memories of motives normal and benign for her studies abroad. Ana was an enigma, even to herself, but the warning had been remembered. Watch, work, and do not get involved unless told otherwise.

It was the only time in Ana’s life she had not obeyed a direct order from Mama after her training had been considered complete—though not consciously retained. Yet the universe found her deviance severe enough to punish her in place of the matriarch that had yet to learn of Ana’s missteps that had made her a pawn in someone else’s game. Someone else’s grasp at glory through her loyalty and her efforts.

Penance came in the form of an ache rooted in her chest that twisted gnarled vines of tension throughout the rest of her until it knotted in thick coils at the pit of her stomach and the back of her head. It was the least she deserved for her transgressions. She knew Mama would say as much and while Ana could not bring herself to inform Mama of what had transpired, she could bring about more intentional repentance beyond the tangle of thorny tendrils thriving in her torso.

Isolation was the first step. A retraction of tentative friendships previously extended. Jun had invited Ana to her family’s festivities that night. Food and fireworks. More specifically for Ana, fries and bright lights. Small things she treasured deeply. Gen had introduced her to both. All the more reason to decline. She would spend New Year’s Eve sequestered in solitude.

Suffering, genuine physical suffering, claimed second position on the list of self-flagellation. Less subtle than the previous method of seeking absolution, Ana had thrown the dorm window wide open. Wintry air swirled throughout the room, bringing with it currents of glistening snowflakes that made the space a life-sized snow globe of Ana’s own making. There was enough care still within her to take protective measures for both Jun and her own belongings through the use of tarps, but Ana herself wore nothing more than a blanched utilitarian romper designed for function rather than form that also appeared as if it were intended for a far warmer setting given the short length of sleeves and inseam.

Fair skin exposed by such lacking attire for the setting possessed the beginning of a blue tinge. She would need to close the window soon to prevent permanent damage—and lingering evidence of what she was doing. Fortunately, if fortune could be tied to such acts, Ana had experience in this particular method of punishment from her youth. She knew her limits and she had approached them. She also knew how long remained before the year, and a certain bet, concluded.

Ana rose from where she had been kneeling in the center of the space facing the window just as a series of knocks emanated from the door behind her. Panic. The state of her dress not only exposed her skin, but the traits she had managed to hide from everyone bar Jun due to the proximity required by their living arrangements.

Black feline ears protruded from the short bob of the same color that they were usually pinned beneath. A matching tail flicked behind her willowy figure. It was the only movement from Ana who had decided to pretend she wasn’t present in spite of the lights being on and the music playing softly in the background. She had no obligation to open the door for strangers and Jun had a key of her own.

The logic was sound and her decision resolute—until she heard the voice on the other side of the door. Her entire body flushed with a warmth that defied the flecks of ice and snow scattered across it. Though they did not melt, Ana’s resolve did. She had told Gen she wouldn’t speak with him until the deadline of his bet had come to pass. By honoring that request, he would have confirmed the kind of person everyone said he was.

A scumbag.

One that pursued satisfying his own ego over what… well, whatever Ana had thought she wanted. If she even knew herself. She had genuinely not expected him. At least not his presence. A quick text to probe whether or not he could have his cake and eat it too had seemed far more likely. Yet now he was here, just beyond the threshold.

Ana tiptoed toward the door. Part of her, the part coded with directives laced with the innate human desire to not be hurt, still weighed the value of feigning her absence. She placed a hand on the door at face level with herself. Given that Ana was only an inch shy of Gen’s full height, the motion would have placed her hand on his cheek had it been him before her and not the wood between them.

She hesitated and in the spaces between inaction and resumed action, it felt as if Time paused mid-crusade that moment and gauged retreat against the destruction of dreams both not yet understood or spoken. Its own decision required the choices of two people, however, not just Gen’s and not just Ana’s. He had made the choice to arrive before midnight—and at all, really. Now Ana had to choose whether or not to let Gen inside. Beyond the door in more senses than the obvious.

It started with a crack. Not a full commitment to a subliminal betrayal on her end. Wide cerulean eyes peered out from the narrow space between the door and its setting. Neither they nor the nearly ever-present smile Ana adorned as her mask gave anything away. The cold gust of air that slipped out was the only indicator that something was amiss beyond the entrance Gen had yet to be beckoned across. Until Ana spoke.

“Talk about what, Ku-ro-ka-mi?”

The stilted emphasis on each syllable of his last name, which Ana never used, was riddled with a giddiness in the way it was spoken that hid the warning of Ana’s tense mental state. There were only two people in all of UAU that could have interpreted it for what it was. One was busy partying it up beneath a sky that was about to explode. The other was staring back at the impending implosion that was Ana.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for Ana Borovsky

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A gust of cold wind escaped out of that miniscule gap that opened up between the door and the frame, but perhaps more chilling was what awaited behind it. Business as usual, would’ve been anyone else’s guess. Ana’s signature smile and unnerving enthusiasm was enough to shake anyone, but Gen had gotten used to both. He’d even started getting the handle on reading such an enigma. That’s probably why he couldn’t help but shake that uncomfortable feeling that something was off. Even the multiple layers of clothing couldn’t stop him from shaking. A shiver she could not see. [break][break]

Still, this was going… better than expected. He should’ve been thanking his lucky stars right now. A slap in the face and a shut of the door would’ve been his just desserts, but somehow, neither had come to pass. Not like he could spend much time thinking about that. The worst was yet to come. Now, he needed to convince Ana Borovsky to let him in. [break][break]

If it were anyone else at any other time, he’d have a hundred different arguments ready-made to get through the door. Good ones, too. Though with her, they’d just dig him deeper into this grave. Sooner or later, any trick he pulled here would come back to bite him, and it was a bit late to be sincere. “Well, umm…” A quick jab about her leaving the AC on? A pity-filled story about not wanting her to spend the holidays alone? Hell, even an apology would end the same way. Him staring at that door, and her probably crying alone. “…” There was only one thing that could save them from such a miserable ending.[break][break]

“The truth.”[break][break]

Anyone, even Ana, could tell that something was amiss about the way he said that .For a moment, his antics faded away. His smile vanished, and with it, the usual doses of sarcasm and sadism. If anything, from the hushed tone to the averted eyes, she could hear the struggle uttering them implied. His voice betrayed an aversion to the concept that bordered on revulsion. Funny how someone who could say the most hurtful things under the guise of “harsh truths” could get so quiet about his own. Here he was, though, spitting them out with an uncharacteristic tinge of shame. Worse yet, he was about to double down. “Feel like I owe you that much, at least.”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[Ana Borovsky]

OR CAN THEY?

TURNING BACK THE PENDULUM

Silence greeted Gen’s claim. Several seconds of it as Ana processed both the reply and the package from which it was delivered. She had always struggled with taking anything beyond their face value meaning. Which meant Ana had often taken Gen at his word—for better or worse. In this case it had led to worse because the answers had never been what they seemed. Ana preferred the concrete observable nature of science over mercurial human emotions for a reason. Ironic considering how Ana presented herself to the world wasn't exactly truthful either.

“Okay! But you have to wait here for a minute,” she finally said before closing the door in his face. If Ana were any other teenage or twenty-something girl, there was a strong chance she’d let Gen freeze in the hallway without ever returning to do the door as a retaliatory act. Fortunately for Gen, her lack of socialization in public or even private school’s hadn’t instilled her with such instincts.

True to her word, only a minute passed before the door opened on the room within, revealing its tarp covered contents and icy interior due to the open window, and of course, the room’s occupant. Ana had made Gen wait for one very important reason.

She had turned into a marshmallow.

At least it might appear that way as she had donned an oversized white puffer jacket atop her scant garb. It wasn’t that Ana was cold, which she was, but she needed to quickly conceal her ears and tails. Raising the hood and zipping the coat allowed her to do just that. The Stay Puft cosplayer stepped aside to let Gen over the threshold without further comment on either the situation or her new attire.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for Ana Borovsky

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The seconds of silence that followed that hypocritical promise felt like years. This was it. 10 seconds in, and he’d already screwed it up for good. She was probably just trying to find the right words, and who could blame her? What do you say to something that asinine? There was just no way that-[break][break]

“Okay! But you have to wait here for a minute”
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What?[break][break]

How did that even w-[break][break]

Just take the win, dude.[break][break]

Anyone else, himself included, would’ve lied through their teeth right there. By now, he’d grown wise to Ana's overly literal language. She wasn’t the kind to bend the truth. If she was asking for him to wait a minute, then sure as shooting, he was going to be seeing her again in exactly sixty seconds. What he couldn't have expected was how he was gonna’ see her.[break][break]

The comically-sized coat only looked more out of place when taking its wearer into account, and only added more questions to the ones troubling the young man’s mind. For once, he thought against making a pithy comment about it, at least out loud. Things were complicated enough as they were without his unnecessary fashion takes.[break][break]

Gingerly, he stepped in, an eerie feeling had followed his every move. Something was off. This was too easy. The other shoe had to drop eventually, right? His mind fantasized with all the different ways this could go wrong. He walked from one end of the room to the other, waiting for the sound of the exit shutting behind him. This wasn’t the kind of conversation he could have outside of closed doors. Well, it wasn’t the kind of conversation he ought to be having anywhere, period, but here he was. Now the problem was, where to start.[break][break]

He couldn’t just come out with it. With everything at stake, he’d be a fool not to feel out the proverbial Lion’s Den he had just locked himself into. Ana had been gracious enough to gift him sixty seconds, and lucky for her, Gen wasn’t a total fuck-up, so he’d at least managed to come up with a half-decent starter in that time. Something Ana could easily understand, whilst probing for the right amount of data. So, after sliding the window shut, he would turn to the puffy white coat and the head that peeked out from inside it.[break][break]

“You know Christmas, right?”[break][break]

This was a slam dunk. In Gen’s mind, there was nothing more American than Christmas, except maybe guns. Surely, even Ana would’ve at least heard of it. “How did you feel when you found out Santa wasn’t real?” The only possible flaw he could see in this plan was if Ana still believed in Saint Nick. He was really hoping he wouldn’t have to be the one to break this to her. “Did you get mad when you found out your parents made the whole thing up?” [break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[Ana Borovsky]

IT'S ME! HI!

I'M THE PROBLEM! IT'S ME!

Ana was quick to close the door behind Gen. If there was anyone more adamant about their privacy in general than Gen was about whatever truth he sought to divulge, it was Ana. The stack of NDA contracts she regularly made people sign, Gen included, was a testament to that. So were the ears and tail she kept hidden from him beneath the oversized garment as she awkwardly seated herself on her tarp covered bed while Gen closed the window. Ana shivered involuntarily as if he had reminded her that she was supposed to be cold. She said nothing of it though and instead focused on Gen’s questions.

“Why would I think Santa is real? Unless you mean the historical figure of Saint Nicholas! Though my parents didn’t tell me about him! I read about it during my first year here when I heard of Christmas!”

Holidays weren’t a thing her family had acknowledged, much less celebrated. Ana had to pick up information about these social and religious celebrations on her own. Like how Jun had to explain to her why she was spending the night at a family party to ring in the new year. Which meant whatever Gen’s intent had been to use Christmas as an easy method of explaining something to her likely wasn’t going to have the impact he had expected.

“Is this really what you wanted to talk to me about?”

The clock was ticking. Ana didn’t understand Gen’s urgency if all he wanted to discuss was a made up holiday stitched together from pagan celebrations and Christian whitewashing. Was the truth he was about to spring on her that he was Saint Nicholas? No. That didn’t seem right. If it was though, he was dooming himself to be called Nick for the rest of eternity.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for Ana Borovsky

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There was a lot to unpack in Ana’s answer, unfortunately for Gen, none of it was what he was looking for. There was a certain method to her cryptic madness, one he had learned to interpret over the past year of life-or-death Gear testing sessions and many a night spent watching old films. It did take a couple of seconds, so when he started asking “Wait, why didn’t your par-” it was already too late. Ana wasn’t having any of his nonsense.[break][break]

He was gonna’ have to accept that no trick of his, no matter how clever, could help him out here. Nothing was going to tell him how this was gonna go. Kurokami Gen was out here on his own in uncharted territory. “You’re right.” He nodded, before taking a deep breath and beginning to slide down the wall. His hip bounced for a little moment as he finally hit the floor, looking up at the beds as if he were unworthy of even touching them. Oh, she already sat down. That’s another time-waster off the table. Best to just get to the point now, whatever happens from there, happens.[break][break]

“It took me a while, but I think I finally figured out who your little crush is. You know, that guy you kept talking about all-semester?” At first, he thought it was Jun, then he thought of 50 different suspects, before that piece of shit from the Support course talked some sense into him. Turning to look up at her, Gen summoned up all of his confidence to dare to say. “Think I got to the bottom of that one.“ He flashed that grin of his, so full of impish playfulness, before looking down at himself, before turning back to her. He gave her a moment to comment or confirm, before adding: “The whole ‘dressing up in latex and kissing me’ was what really cracked it for me.” Was he trying to be clever, or was this the only way he could handle these sorts of things? Either way, it was a good thing his Quirk was still on, cause nowhere near that smooth without it.[break][break]

“I’m not trying to be a dick here, but”, he held up a finger, trying to intercept any questions coming his way. “Why?” He didn’t seem like he was trying to mock or judge her for her tastes in men; he sounded genuinely confused, with a mix of concern rooted in his voice. This wasn’t a sarcastic answer, a set up for a punchline, nothing. Just genuine curiosity. “Why me?” [break][break]

“You know I’m not exactly a good guy, right?”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[Ana Borovsky]

IT'S ME! HI!

I'M THE PROBLEM! IT'S ME!

Ana was keenly aware that she was witnessing history in the making that no one would ever believe if she told them. An admission of someone else being right was made by Kurokami Gen, king of claiming his own correctness—often in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Perhaps she wasn't oblivious to the miracle taking place because it was a trait they shared if one overlooked the differences in their respect of evidence. Gen was all hot air inflating his statements. Ana was all scientific method. That dichotomy was part of what piqued Ana’s interest in experimenting with him in the first place.

Threads of thought resonated between them even if neither realized it until Gen gathered his courage to face the reality he so often eschewed in favor of his Quirk. His words, his accusation, was underscored by the rustling of fabric from Ana shifting on the bed as she fidgeted in place subconsciously. Their little game of cat and rat mouse had played out over the last year without Ana ever confessing the obvious—and without Gen ever realizing it. As if neither could confront a truth that would reveal even a fraction of who they were beneath the facades they had built up to navigate the world outside the ones in their own heads. Once again echos and opposites like two sides of the same coin.

That Gen was the first to break their unspoken agreement of pretending there was nothing between them spoke to the depths of Ana’s reluctance to admit her own truth verbally. Though she had done everything but giving words to her feelings to give it away. Gen offered Ana the perfect opening to finally confess in the here and now, yet still she said nothing. Not even when Gen highlighted the driving force to his conclusion. The only reaction his call out received was Ana breaking her unblinking eye contact. A feat in and of itself considering.

Her gaze shifted to the previously opened window, lights from the campus grounds outside and the stars above glittering against the sapphire backdrop to the so-called windows of her own and the supposed soul behind them. They would have stayed locked there for quite some time had Gen not drawn them back to him with a query far more serious than asking her about Santa. Though their return was inevitable. It had always been hard for Ana to look away from Gen and his question, without him knowing it, demanded an answer for that as well because it the cause and effect of both were one and the same.

She stared at him amidst what had to be the world’s loudest silence. One that stretched on and one for an eternity. Or so it felt. The reality was that only a few seconds had passed, but if Gen watched Ana’s face like she watched his now, he knew her well enough to know the telltale signs of her mind moving at light speed in an attempt to unravel a mystery. She was a problem solver at her core, after all.

The quandary in question wasn’t rooted in Gen, however, so much as it was within Ana. She could parse through and comprehend data and statistics better than anyone else. She could not only understand and explain quantum physics, she could apply it practically in actual tech. She could interpret the binary language computers used as if they were speaking plain English. She could rattle off every bone in the human body, explain why each was a necessary part of the skeletal system, and which ones were the best to target to immobilize a person. There were few fields in which Ana could not claim knowledge, if not expertise, and here Gen was evoking the one Ana struggled with most.

Emotional reasoning.

Because that was what attraction was. Feelings. Logic had no place in a heart’s decision. If it had, Ana would have been better able to obey the strict orders she had been given. Orders that would have prevented her from ever becoming entangled with Gen in the first place. Sometimes literally in her past experiments. Their thin guise under such a title was an excuse for Ana to explore unfamiliar territory. Emotions were things that Ana had only been loosely educated on for the intent of interacting with humans outside her family. She had never been subject to the vast array of complicated varieties she had been exposed to upon joining UAU and especially after meeting Gen. Now he wanted her to explain them in a way he could understand even when Ana herself didn’t. Not fully.

She frowned. Given her primary expression was that rivaled the Cheshire cat from a universe even more twisted than their own, her muscles actively strained to maintain a down-turned countenance and smoothed out after only a heartbeat or two. Even just displaying such sentiments other than those that had been reinforced through training was difficult. How was she supposed to put them into words?

Ana rose from the bed. An idea had half formed in her mind. Physical proximity had allowed her to be more vulnerable with him before. Maybe it would help jump start the process of confession and clarity now. She crossed the scant distance that had separated them—dorms weren’t exactly known for being spacious. Not even those of UAU. Then she slowly unzipped the puffy jacket and let it fall to the ground revealing the similarly colored romper beneath it before she knelt in front of Gen and wedged herself between his knees, leaning in to him so they were face-to-face. Her tail had been kept lifted out of sight for the time being. It was better to focus on revealing one secret at a time.

There was a saying tied to spiritual practices Ana was woefully ignorant of, but more relevant in that moment because for one to be true, so too must the opposite. The light in me sees and honors the light in you. And while Ana could literally become light, there was a darkness in her that kept people away. She could see it in Gen too. Through no fault of their own, they were the shadows to the sunshine everyone else wanted to be and see in others. The darkness in Ana saw and honored the darkness in Gen. No matter how blackened a heart or mind, acceptance was a universal human hunger and loneliness a universal pang.

“How could it have ever been anyone else?”

She reached out and touched his face. Her skin was still frigid, but the contact sent a surge of warmth through her body that registered across her face in a rosy flush across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Though the latter had been possessed of a soft red tint from the earlier chill. When Ana finally spoke, the cold and her uncertainty of how to articulate her thoughts combined with her heavy Russian accent made her words slow and shaky, but steadiness came the longer she pushed through her own discomfort. As if hearing her own reasoning out loud made things easier for herself to understand too.

“I don’t want or need you to be an arbitrary definition of good. I want and need you as you are and everything that entails because it makes you, you. The you that sees me as I am and still accept me in spite of that all that I’m not, but should be according to everyone else. The you that doesn’t tell me that I should change because my way of being is wrong. The you that doesn’t avoid me like everyone else because I’m broken to them. Like you.”

There was no use in being delicate. People hated Gen and they were unsettled by Ana. The two existed the best they could with the methods they had available. Neither were conventional. Neither were accepted. Except by each other, it seemed.

“Besides,” Ana added before smiling. It wasn’t her usual too wide grin that bordered on the edge of both manic and a grimace. It was soft and genuine, though with a hint of impishness she had picked up from all the time she had spent with Gen. It was the first real smile she had given him. Perhaps anyone. At least in a very long time before the ability and memory had been lectured and trained out of her. The pause to bestow such a rarity on Gen was brief though. “I like that you kiss back.” She leaned even closer now, pressing her lips to his to prove the point. They were as cold as the hand still on his face.

Fate or some such thing must have approved of the act. Ana’s timing coincided with the clock striking midnight. Though her eyes were closed as the sky began to light up with fireworks, she could hear them detonating in the distance. Surely that was a good sign and surely Gen didn’t have anything else lurking in his closet of skeletons to air out that might ruin the moment.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

[nospaces]

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Broken

Like me

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written for Ana Borovsky

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The thought of someone loving you for who you are, even if what you are is nothing but garbage. What a pretty thought, huh? It was one Gen could not bring himself to either accept or deny, especially when coming from her. Ana’s words were, somehow, both what he wanted, and he dreaded to hear. They were almost enough to make him believe in this whole thing, but at the same time, they reminded him of the exact reason this was doomed. After all, how can you love somebody as they are, if you’ve never really met-[break][break]

And then it happened.[break][break]

It was the perfect storm to banish those thoughts away. An ice-cold hand touching his cheek, sending every part of his body into overdrive; then a cheeky, devilish little line, not unlike one of his own that tore down every door that stood between them; and finally, the coup de grace, his first kiss. All told, it was a shock to his system, the type he needed to force him out of his head. [break][break]

His body retreated, almost instinctively. A fear that repelled him from others almost as strongly as his outward demeanor to them. His eyes widened in surprise when those lips locked. The voice in the back of his mind fell to a hush, stunned, just like the rest of him. Right now, there was only him, Ana, and this feeling bubbling up from inside of him. He didn’t know what to call it, but one thing was for sure, he damn sure didn’t want this to go away.[break][break]

His eyes slowly shut as he let the moment take the wheel.. and boy, did it have something special planned for him. [break][break]

The music swelled on this fairy-tale end to the 21st Century. Elsewhere, their friends and their families would likely be toasting to the new year. None of them would have expected this outcome. To cap off the light show, the fireworks raged behind them, almost as loud as the ones beating inside his chest. They painted the scene with every color on the spectrum. And what a scene it was. The biggest loser would get the brightest girl. Two young outcasts wrapped in each other’s arms. Enemies on the first day, and lovers on the last. Both lonely, but now together. The image faded to black and…[break][break]

---

"FLASHBACK"[break][break][break]

Script: SAMYAH & EL ANON.[break]
Directors: EL ANON & SAMYAH.[break]
Producers: SAMYAH & EL ANON.[break]
Editors: [break][break][break]

CAST: [break][break]

Ana Borovsky[break]
Written by: SAMYAH.[break]
Faceclaim: SASHA YAKOVLEVA from CYBERPUNK 2077: EDGERUNNERS.[break]
Original Character Design: KANEKO, YUUTO & YOSHINARI, YOU. [break]
Details by: SAMYAH.[break]
Voiced by: FLORENCE PUGH from BLACK WIDOW.[break][break]
.

Kurokami Gen[break]
Written by: EL ANON.[break]
Faceclaim: ORIHARA IZAYA from DURARARA!![break]
Original Character Design: YASUDA, SUZUHITO & NARITA, RYOUHGO.[break]
Voiced by: OGATA, MEGUMI from MEDAKA BOX: ABNORMAL.[break][break][break]



MUSICAL SCORE:[break][break]

“BROKEN”[break]
AS PERFORMED BY: lovelytheband.[break]
FROM THE ALBUM: “FINDING IT HARD TO SMILE”[break][Break]

“SYMPHONY NO. 6: “PATHETIQUE”(Movement 4)[Break]
AS PERFORMED BY: THE PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA OF RADIO PARIS.[Break]
PERFORMANCE DIRECTED BY: MYUNG-WHUN CHUNG[Break]
ORIGINALLY COMPOSED BY: PIOTR ILICH CHAIKOVSKI a.k.a "TCHAIKOVSKI"[Break][Break][Break]
SPECIAL THANKS TO: THE FIGHT FOR JUSTICE MY HERO ACADEMIA ROLEPLAY FORUM.[Break]

This sequence is brought to you by the “Bet You Got Your Hopes Up” Foundation.[Break]

---

[Break]

The fireworks had died down god knows how many minutes ago, but that magical moment lived on in his head. He could still feel her hand on his cheek, and she was so… cold. Which was weird, cause she had a massive coat on when he came in, and why did she make him wait outside the door? And, most importantly…[Break][Break]

“Why did you leave the window open? You were freezing when I came in.”[Break][Break]

And just like that, the fairy-tale ended, and the Horrid Reality began. [Break][Break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] There's something wholesome, [Break] something sweet. [Break] Tucked in your eyes, [Break] That I'd love to meet. [Break] These aren't my people [Break] These aren't my friends [Break] She grabbed my face and, [Break] That's when she said:

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[Ana Borovsky]

IT'S ME! HI!

I'M THE PROBLEM! IT'S ME!

Borrowed warmth was a welcome reprieve from both the chilly night and the isolation of Ana’s existence, but it was just that—borrowed. Nor was it an act without consequence. It violated the same command that had driven her to a muted form of self-flagellation. What good was penance if she so easily regressed, and more importantly, if she wanted to regress? The quandary of someone else’s morals aside, the physical proximity had given away the current condition of her body. She had taken warmth from Gen in exchange for chilly trails left on his skin.

Ana had already backed away from Gen before he had asked his weighted question. A retreat in reverse to keep yet another secret in the form of her tail, but as she sat and he asked, the tail twitched just enough to be seen. It was a subconscious tick, one which occurred often but was usually concealed by clothing and other efforts on Ana’s part. So ingrained as a reflex to her, that Ana didn’t even notice. If Gen was watching her closely while awaiting an answer, the same could likely not be said about him.

She was quiet for a lengthy moment or several, as she often was while contemplating. Which wasn’t unusual for Ana in the face of complicated questions. A scientific mind like hers didn’t like to give out incorrect information. But what Gen asked Ana wasn’t complicated at face value and she was known for quick, and often cutting, replies to everything else. Her silence gave away that there was something deeper at play.

Her tail twitched again. Gen had said he wanted to talk about the truth. Had he meant his or hers? Even if only the former, did she not owe him the latter in exchange? Especially after…

“I deserved to be cold.”

It was the truth, just on a smaller scale. A reason without reasoning. It was what Ana could give without further betrayals. She watched Gen closely, as if she had been the one to ask him a question. And in a way she had. Her answer carried an unspoken query beneath it. Would he press her further and unknowingly make her pick between him and duty to her family?

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for @placeholder

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Some people just couldn’t accept success; they couldn’t stop getting in their own way. Kurokami Gen was definitely one of them. Against all odds, he’d fumbled his way into that storybook ending, and instead of riding that high into a new century, he’d bungled it all up. Looked at the gift horse in the mouth. Everything had been wrapped up so neatly, but he just couldn’t let it go. He just had to care, in retrospect, this whole thing would've been a lot easier if he didn’t. [break][break]

He cared enough to notice all the little details adding up. Her cold skin, her puffy jacket, and that weird shadow moving behind her. He cared enough to notice that something wasn't right, and during that infintisimally long second that it took her to answer his question, he cared enough to confirm it. Ana was about the only person in this school as fast on the draw as he was, and probably the only one who came close to his dark wit, even if unintentionally. If she was taking this long, then that meant he’d hit a bullseye. Something was up here. Something that went beyond an uncharacteristic carelessness or a weakness to the cold. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he wouldn’t have to pry too deeply to get his answer.[break][break]

Still, nothing could quite prepare for the five little words she threw his way.[break][break]

“Wh-” Confusion was first in line. A raised eyebrow, a furrowed brow, and a shake of the head. He wanted to ask why, but he didn’t need to. He got it, and the fact he did only terrified him further.[break][break]

He knew not the lore that brought her to that conclusion, but damn, if he couldn’t empathize with it. He knew the feeling. Of deserving every little death life throws your way and, when faced with the latter’s indifference or inability to deliver, taking matters into one’s hands. What he couldn’t understand was why she, of all people, was going through it. “No, you don’t.” Ignorant of her circumstances, Gen remained defiant. [break][break]

It just wasn’t fair. That he, uniquely evil piece of shit he was, got a free pass from Ana, while she had to suffer like this. The mere thought of it was enough to clog his throat and boil his blood, though his Quirk made sure to mask those volatile emotions. “What did you do that’s so bad?” He wanted to know more, but he didn’t want to press her. He wanted to do what she’d done for him just now. To make her feel the same way he did, even if just for a moment. That maybe it's not so bad, that maybe you’re not the worst piece of garbage. “Come on, it can’t be worse than the stuff you’ve seen me do.”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[Ana Borovsky]

IT'S ME! HI!

I'M THE PROBLEM! IT'S ME!

Ana could have summed up her sin in one word. You. But given that he had come to her only moments before looking like a kicked puppy, which was coincidentally how Jun ended up looking every time she had to deal with Gen, and how he had just insinuated anything he did was worse than what she could do, Ana, in a rare moment of emotional intelligence, realized how poorly Gen would take that. Which put her right back at square one in terms of struggling to express herself.

“I-”

“Hav-”

“Do-”

After each attempt, the normally upturned corners of her lips trended farther downward until she was fully frowning and with her brow knitted in frustration. She looked away from Gen to her hands that sat as uselessly in her lap as her tongue did in her mouth. Her fingers itched for something to take apart, like a sacrifice to help order her thoughts. Ana worked through analytical and mental problems best when literally working through physical problems like puzzles or tinkering with machines. She didn’t have that out now.

“There are… certain things expected of me,” she finally managed to get out. Her eyes were still glued on her hands. “Socializing is one, but… fraternizing isn’t.” Ana finally looked back up at Gen. “But I want to. With you. So I did. Even though I’m not supposed to. Mama will be angry.” Gen was witness to another “first of” in a long time. Tears began to shimmer across Ana’s wide eyes. Light that was taken in reflected off the shimmering surface, like it was passing through a prism, creating little auroras across her cheeks. She was a paradox. A girl with a past so dark it was barely more than a shadow even to her, but so full of brightness that she literally cried light.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for Ana Borovsky

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Despite the particularly brilliant, gut punching beauty of it, it was a sight he'd grown used to. He’d lost track of how many times he'd heard his sister wail and weep, he’d reduced god knows how many students to tears since joining U.A.U. and, shocker, he’d felt his own rolling down his cheeks quite a number of times. By now, he fashioned himself a monster that feasted on Heroes’ tears. He was someone who actively sought the sight, but tonight may have been the first time he’d felt bad about causing it. Maybe it was the person who was shedding them, or maybe, it was the fact that not so long ago, he was in her shoes, having to cope with letting a loved one down.[break][break]

Whatever the reason, the sight prompted Gen to slowly clear the distance between them, crawling towards her side of this cramped room. “Hey, hey, hey…” Softly, he tried to get her attention. To snap her out of whatever dreadful hold that woman had over her. “It’s okay.” Mirroring her own actions from a moment ago, he’d discard his glove, before placing a warm hand. If she so allowed, his finger would begin wiping the trails off of her cheeks, before wiping the next set off of her eyes. “You’re going to be fine, Ana, but…”[break][break]

There was a part of Gen that really, really wanted to ask “so what?” To shout that indecent question to the heavens, accompanied by a resounding “who cares?” It was the part he’d grown used to heeding, especially since he got here. The part that wanted to see everyone around him suffer; his spite, his envy, his resentment, they all wanted to ridicule the notion of her expectations. But he knew better. He stomached his hatred of the world for just moment. This was the one thing, the one person he didn’t want to burn. Not more than he already had. [break][break]

For once in his life, Kurokami Gen had to be tactful.[break][break]

In other words, they were screwed.[break][break]

His eyes wandered down at the ground, as if it could find the words he was looking for. “Listen…” He tried to buy time, discarding countless horrible lines. Things that would've gotten his ass kicked out of the room in a matter of seconds. Luckily, he had an old reliable that never failed him. Self-loathing. “There’s a million good reasons not to… fraternize with me.” Not his word of choice, but he, of all people, couldn't judge her for having trouble expressing her feelings. “That’s not one of them.” [break][break]

“If you want to cut this off right now, I’ll… leave. We’ll… go our separate ways. And... we'll deal with it however we can.” Even his Quirk could not hide how hard it was to say those words. The mere thought of letting this go was heart wrenching. He paused for a moment, trying to collect his breath, before concluding. “And I get that you put a lot of stock on what Mama says…” His head jerked to the side, towards the now muted window, and the world that waited behind it. “But don’t do it for her.” The voice was almost pleading with her. If this was going to go away, then please, don't let it be due to some woman he'd never meet. [break][break]

“She’s not here.” His head shook with that statement of fact. She might’ve been her mother, but she was halfway across the Pacific Ocean. “She’s not gonna’ have to live with that choice, you are.” Mama wasn’t going to be sitting in this room, mourning a relationship that never was. She wasn’t going to be thinking of what could’ve been. And she certainly wasn’t going to be crying her heart out for Kurokami fucking Gen of all people. [break][break]

“What I’m trying to say is…” His hand moved to tilt her head towards him, trying to focus her attention on him, instead of whatever punishment, corporeal or otherwise, awaited back home and onto this moment. Because right now, it was all that mattered. For all he knew, these were last seconds of that magical time. That brief window of time when life was worth living. “It's your life, not hers.” [break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[Ana Borovsky]

IT'S ME! HI!

I'M THE PROBLEM! IT'S ME!

The sight of Kurokami Gen crawling on his hands and knees would have thrilled and vindicated many students at UAU were the act beheld under different circumstances. For Ana, it first evoked curiosity beneath the tidal wave of despair currently washing over her, even though she had done similarly only moments before. The work Gen had done in tarnishing his own reputation was thorough enough that Ana’s first thought hadn’t been for him to come to her side to comfort her—or maybe it was her own warped upbringing combined with her analytical mind making her think that he wanted a closer look at the phenomenon of her tears. It wouldn’t be the first time that was the case.

It was, however, the first time she had received comfort over inspection. That she had even known to do it earlier with the lack of it in her own life was proof of how innate a need for physical contact and emotional connection was to humans in general. Instincts were all Ana really had to rely on in a situation such as this where she was so out of her depth and instinct told her to lean into Gen’s touch rather than pull away.

Her intent was to be silent as Gen attempted what he did best—talking himself into or out of something. Even if he too was out of his depth. But Ana had already relinquished what control she had in favor of a repressed primal nature and in doing so, discovered something new about herself. It was quiet. Hardly noticeable, but it was there. A hushed rumble inside her chest that wasn’t just her heart beating itself against its ivory cage in a panic. Ana could apparently purr. She said nothing about her discovery, hoping it went amiss beneath Gen’s speech as he continued to wipe away her tears.

The duality of emotions at war in her head and heart raged on. Gen tilting her head upward to meet her still shimmering eyes of northern lights and his declaration on behalf of Ana’s life stoked the fires of said war into an inferno, one that sought to burn a path through the barricades of her issues and clear a path to rebellion. Except...

He was asking too much of her.

Ana looked away. Her luminously watery eyes had to focus on anything else but Gen if she was going to tell him as much. Her gaze landed on the stuffed penguin tucked carefully beneath the clear plastic tarp to protect him from the elements.

Mr. Bear, or Dr. Bear when he was wearing his own miniature lab coat, was Ana’s singular childhood toy and the one sentimental item she possessed. Even its presence in her life had been the result of a test she, and each of her siblings at different points, had been put through by Mama. It was one of Ana’s earliest and clearest memories.

Several different plushies had been set out for Ana to choose her favorite and her least favorite. Ana had picked a bear with the softest black fur as her favorite; sometimes she randomly remembered it when looking at Gen’s hair. Then she had picked the penguin as her least favorite. It wasn’t as soft or cuddly as the others, especially with its beak. Ana was allowed to play with the bear she had picked for exactly one hour. Enough time for a young child to become irrevocably attached to a toy. Then it was taken away from her by Mama and replaced with the penguin. Mama told her it was both a lesson on the harsh realities of life and a reminder that Ana should be grateful for anything that was given to her by the family.

That had been the last time Ana cried. The punishment for it had been so severe that she didn’t want to risk it again. Until now. The glowing tears started flowing again. Ana looked away from Bear and back to Gen. She had chosen the name out of spite with the last reserves of her free will. Ana had grown to treasure Bear because it had been the one thing she had been allowed to have that wasn’t a tool or tech or some necessity for survival like clothing, but he was also a constant reminder that Ana had never truly been allowed to have or do what she wanted. Everything was for Mama and the family.

The inferno had dulled during her hesitation, but it had not been fully extinguished. There was an ember kept burning by the sparks between Ana and Gen and what he was offering her. She stopped crying and took his ungloved hand in hers as she looked him in the eyes and finally spoke.

“You’re wrong about the million good reasons. I can’t think of a single one and I’m smarter than you, so I have to be right.” She flashed him the stolen smirk again before the levity sank beneath the gravity of the situation once more. “So don’t leave. Stay with me.” What Mama didn’t know couldn’t hurt her—or Ana.

Notes & Tags: Kurokami Gen

[Kurokami Gen]

[nospaces]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for Ana Borovsky

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"You're right... you are smarter than me." Gen’s arms wrapped themselves around her body, if she so allowed. Tears would bubble in his eyes, before rolling off his cheeks. The emotions clogged his words, but he just barely managed to let something, anything out. The words any young girl would love to hear from the boy she liked. “I'm so lucky I found you.” What a beautiful moment. A shame it was all fake.[break][break]

There were specks of truth here and there, sprinkled throughout the performance to give it that touch of authenticity. The speech was real. The emotions that fueled it? 100% true. Everything else he might’ve said or done could've been bullshit, but this specific thing wasn’t. Her words were sweet, to the point of moving him, but he couldn’t savor the moment. He couldn't celebrate her momentous breakthrough. He was unable to shake the feeling that something was off. That he’d just done something viscerally wrong.[break][break]

He didn’t much care for what Mama thought. What little he knew painted a picture he wanted to tear down and burn to cinders. Neither of those could justify leveraging Ana’s feelings against her. He was asking too much of her, and the worst part was that she was willing to go through with it. [break][break]

Was he willing to do the same for her? No, of course not.[break][break]

He had her in the palm of his hand. This was it. He couldn’t have planned it better. “I won’t leave you, okay?” He found a way to have his cake and eat it, too. He’d dodged every tripmine and deflected the conversation back to her at every turn, and now he was reaping the rewards. He could keep lying to her, no problem. It was the great thing about smart people. Pull them out of their cold, calculating world, and they’re as easy to play as any other fool. As long as he kept pretending to be the person she thought he was, then he could stall the inevitable. His happiness could live on for just a little bit longer.[break][break]

It was a terrible thing, and one he was more than capable of doing. Maybe that was for the best. What good did spilling the beans do for anyone here? People lied to each other all the time. Hell, they lied to themselves, all to maintain an illusory happiness, and what was so wrong about it? Besides, it wasn’t him she liked. “I’m here for you…”[break][break]

Then, he pictured it. The inevitable. The house of cards falling down. The grift running. He couldn’t help but think of how she’d react to all of that at once. He didn’t need to imagine it, he’d seen it, he could still feel it on her cheek.[break][break]

“But…” He pulled back, wiping off the crocodile tears.[break][break]

No.[break][break]

No, no, no.[break][break]

You stop that right now, Gen.[break][break]

“I can think of one.” Just shut the fuck up. What difference did it make if she found out at the same time as everyone else? What heartbreak was he sparing here? It’s going to fail anyways, why not enjoy the ride a little? “And if you want to stay with me, you should hear it.” No, don’t let go. What are you doing? This was your one chance. Don’t crawl away from her. Don’t stand up. Stop this stupid bullshit right now. "You gotta' go into this with both eyes open."[break][break]

Now on his feet, Gen would look out the window, before sighing, and turning back to the one person who loved him, or at least, thought she did. “You might wanna’ sit down for this, and… grab Bear while you’re at it.” Hold it tight, Ana, because that one childhood treasure is the only thing you can trust now.[break][break]

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“Ah, how fantastic”[break]
You can clap for me.[break]
But all of your life’s lies[break]
have piled up in the hallway outside.[break]

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[newclass=.curragelyric div]font:bold 10px Roboto;line-height:10px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-top:1px;padding-right:5px!important;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragelyric div span]margin-right:23px;[/newclass]

[newclass=.currageimg]height:110px;width:110px;padding:15px;background-color:rgba(245,245,245,.35);border-radius:100%;margin:-135px 0px 10px 40px;position:relative;z-index:10;[/newclass]

[newclass=.currageimg2]border-top:solid 5px transparent;border-right:dotted 5px #ffffff;border-left:dotted 5px #ffffff;border-bottom:solid 5px transparent;border-radius:100%;height:130px;width:130px;margin:-15px;position:absolute;-webkit-animation: LILIKASPIN 3s linear infinite; -moz-animation: LILIKASPIN 3s linear infinite; -o-animation: LILIKASPIN 3s linear infinite; animation: LILIKASPIN 3s linear infinite;[/newclass]

[newclass=.currageimg3]height:100px;width:100px;padding:5px;background-color:#ffffff;border-radius:100%;[/newclass]

[newclass=.currageimg img]height:100px;width:100px;border-radius:100%;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragetag]font:bold 11px Roboto;text-transform:lowercase;line-height:10px;color:#cccccc;float:left;border:solid 1px #e3e3e3;background-color:#f3f3f3;border-radius:5px;padding:14px;margin-left:40px;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragetag a]font:bold 11px Roboto;line-height:10px;color:#ff0000;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragepost]padding:15px 40px 35px 40px;font:10px Verdana;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragepost font]font:bold 11px Roboto;color:#57bcc2;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragepost b]font:bold 11px Roboto;color:#ff0000;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragepost i]font:11px Roboto;font-style:italic;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragebot]border:solid 1px #e3e3e3;background-color:#f3f3f3;padding:19px;font:bold 11px Roboto;text-align:right;color:#bbbbbb;border-radius:5px;margin:0px 40px -30px 85px;position:relative;z-index:1;[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragebot3]background-color:#ff0000;height:80px;background: linear-gradient(to bottom right,#000000, #ff0000);-webkit-clip-path: polygon(0 0, 100% 60%, 100% 100%, 0 100%);-moz-clip-path: polygon(0 0, 100% 60%, 100% 100%, 0 100%);clip-path: polygon(0 0, 100% 60%, 100% 100%, 0 100%);[/newclass]

[newclass=.curragee] }@keyframes LILIKASPIN { 0% { -ms-transform: rotate(0deg); -moz-transform: rotate(0deg); -webkit-transform: rotate(0deg); -o-transform: rotate(0deg); transform: rotate(0deg); } 100% { -ms-transform: rotate(360deg); -moz-transform: rotate(360deg); -webkit-transform: rotate(360deg); -o-transform: rotate(360deg); transform: rotate(360deg); }[/newclass]