[junsuina]

[attr="class","bmsk"] in blackest night... Initially, Jun didn't think she'd show back up to Sadako's office to talk out her problems. But after her encounter with Gen and offering to help Momo with her studies, things were looking up. Maybe...just maybe...she could do even better with another session. Which is why she was in Sadako's office again today. Not only was her hygiene better, but it also looked like she slept. She still looked depressed, but at the very least she wasn't imploding. "I've been thinking. I'm...I'm carrying too much. I want to do better. Er, be better. I...I can't forgive myself of my inactions, but if I keep letting that guilt guide me." She looked down, her lips pressed into a line. "I've trained myself into a weapon of justice. I've honed my mind and body to the point where only in extreme circumstances will I accidentally level a block. I've even figured a way to channel my own anxiety and panic into moves to keep any grapplers off of me. But there's something that I'm lacking in the control department, I think..." Sadako Gotoh

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[Sadako Gotoh]

When they last talked, she had Jun down as a maybe for coming back. Not because she didn't want her in her office, but because a lot of whether Jun came back or not depended on her and what she needed to get better. She was pleasantly surprised to see that she was wrong and of course happily took Jun down back for another meeting. They had only just gotten started on her journey to improvement,
but Sadako swore she was already looking better and healthier since the last time they talked.

''You can't let guilt of the past guide you. The past is already in the past. It has already happened and we can't change that. I know that sounds overly simple, but focusing too much on the past only leads to losing focus of your present.'' Her struggle was one that wasn't all too common to Sadako. She had trained herself up to be a powerful student. In terms of output, you couldn't deny Jun was one of the top performers at the school. However, all that output was hard to control. Usually Sadako found that it was the other way around with students, that they got to know their quirks, learn to control them, but then struggle to have the resolve, or power to output enough, or sometimes more than enough to go beyond. ''In your own words, what do you think it is you are lacking?''

junsuina

[junsuina]

[attr="class","bmsk"] in blackest night... What am I lacking? She looked down at her hands, her lips pressed into a line as she thought on it. Even when she went to quirk counseling as a kid control was always something she struggled with. It was just a part of her own quirk. When emotion was what powered the whole thing, there was always going to be a level of rampancy. Sure, she could just never wear a piece of jewelry for the rest of her life, but that would be admitting defeat. That her quirk owned her. But none of that was what she was here for. She lost control of her body, and while her quirk was part of that it wasn't what was used to hurt Momo. "I...I don't know." She curled her fingers and uncurled them, thinking. "I...It...Emotion might still be a factor. I'm...there are a lot of emotions I'm used to dealing with, and some fuel my quirk. But...I don't know. That sheer panic I feel whenever someone touches me, I've learned to harness that power. Maybe..." She closed her eyes. Almost everyone she interacted with, whenever they touched her, caused panic. Except: "Kaida. She's the only exception to the rule. I'm not entirely sure why, either..." Sadako Gotoh,

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[Sadako Gotoh]

Even if Jun didn't say it, it was evident that the emotions that fueled her quirk caused her a lot of trouble. It was usually the case for students with quirks based in emotions in her experience. Emotions were a powerful thing after all, and especially young people, who were still growing and learning and becoming their true self, they had a lot to grapple with, more than anyone else. ''Some? Not all emotions?'' It might be a minor detail, but she thought it worthy to note down at least.

''Kaida Ikarashi, she's in her fourth year, correct?'' She scribbled something down and looked back up at Jun. Could it be that Kaida was the key to solving Jun's problems? If everyone could 'become like Kaida' to Jun, then Jun wouldn't have as many problems with physical contact. However, that might prove tricky depending on what criteria exactly made Kaida so different. A close friend? A love interest? A person she admired? There was so many possible answers and they probably weren't going to find one today, but as long as they made progress and as long as Jun got a little happier, that was good enough for Sadako. After all, she couldn't force any of this anymore than Jun wanted. Jun had the power during these appointments. She was free to end it early, or not talk about how she truly felt if it started hurting her too much. ''Have you known her for a long time?''

junsuina

[junsuina]

[attr="class","bmsk"] in blackest night... Jun shook her head, sighing. "I don't...I don't fully understand it myself. I'm not sure if there's just a limit to what my quirk factor can do, or if I'm capable of channeling those other emotions into constructs. As it stands, there's only six emotions I've learned that can be used." It was curious, if she was being honest. If she could use her anxiety, she'd no doubt be a force to be reckoned with! She'd follow this up with a nod, pressing her lips together. "She is, yeah. She took an interest in my when I first came here. I...I, uh. I was still dealing with issues and learning how to use my quirk properly..." She scratched the side of her head, trying to process how exactly they were intertwined. "I'm not in a position to speak on Kaida, but I guess she saw something familiar to herself in me. She was one of the people that helped stabilize me and helped me focus." She looked at her hands, frowning. "That panic...that sense of getting away from all others. She helped me channel that into how I fight. I can only use my quirk for so long, and if I give too much into my fear or my anger it can overwhelm me and cause a lotta collateral. It's something I've been scared of since I discovered my quirk. But the touch thing...that doesn't fuel it. Maybe a little into fear, but touch causes everything to go hazy. So because of it, I've learned to harness it into the strength for any anti-grappling techniques I know." Sadako Gotoh,

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[Sadako Gotoh]

It was fascinating. As far as Sadako knew, quirks that were tied to emotions were often amplified by one emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger or so on. Jun's was unique in this aspect, that she wasn't tied to one, but rather at the whims of her quirk seemingly no matter how she reacted to the world around her and yet... Even her quirk came with its own set of rules. Six emotions as far as they were aware. Could Jun benefit from a test where she doesn't hold back? It was a bit reckless, but if she knew her limits, felt what it was like to be in that state and then came back down, maybe losing control wouldn't be so alien and scary anymore? She cursed herself internally for not taking ahold of Lone Wolf sooner, this seemed like something he would have expertise on.

So Kaida wasn't just a friend, she was a senior that took Jun under her wing in a sense. Her role was crucial in figuring out Jun's power, Kaida wasn't just another student, she was Jun's anchor. As Jun spoke Sadako nodded and listened attentively, taking notes throughout so she could look back on their conversation later. ''The touch thing is something separate?'' She asked for confirmation. ''Your quirk is volatile and extremely dangerous in the wrong hands. Kanjo-san, it's extremely impressive that you have made it this far considering your circumstances, that you continue to move forward in spite of it.'' She put her pen and notepad down. ''I was considering reaching out to Ikarashi-san and possibly talking about some of the stuff we have talked about, but I won't do it without your permission.'' In the end she really couldn't either, client consent was everything. ''Similarly, I would like to request your medical records from your personal doctors, but I understand if you wouldn't want me to see them.'' The ball was in her court. This was what these appointments were all about. The students come to her with a problem and she tries to figure out a solution that best helps the student while impeding as little as possible on their personal space. Unfortunately, Jun was turning into a bit of an extreme case so she might need to be more assertive in her ways. Contacting Lone Wolf was no longer a maybe, it was a must.

junsuina

[junsuina]

[attr="class","bmsk"] in blackest night... Jun blinked, processing for a moment. There was a lot to unpack regarding all of that, and she started with the weirdest request first and foremost. "Uh, sure? But I don't see what my records have to do with this," she says, slowly. "I don't have a history of injuries if that's what you're worried about." Although this did cause a spike of anxiety to shoot through her. What if she had an inkling on who Nitelight was? There was no way...only two people know Nitelight's identity, and there shouldn't be anyone else who figured that out! Though she had to transition into the elephant in the room. "Kaida's...mistrustful. Towards any authority. It might not be a good idea, unless you do so casually..." Kaida talking about herself was a herculean feat in of itself, and she doubted she'd be open to talking about Jun. If she ever did she'd probably come to Jun herself. Sadako Gotoh

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