[𝕐 + 𝕐]

[attr="class","body"]Now don’t get Yaoyao wrong. She’s not immune to enjoying a little fun at somebody else’s expense, and Kurokami’s unfettered bullshittery is hilarious to witness — most of the time. When it’s directed at people she couldn’t give less of a shit about. Thing is, Kurokami didn’t just graduate from Asshat High School with an Honor’s Degree in Dickery. Oh, no.

He’s also got a chronic and terminal case of not knowing when it’s time to shut the fuck up disease.

This week, their Heroics 101 project is to simulate a stakeout. The nitty gritty, non-glamorous part of hero work and investigation. Every day until Friday, they’re supposed to sit in a car near their dinky food joint of choice, pretending it’s got some devious criminal dealings going on inside. Their job is to note down observations: everyone who goes in and out, what they can see through the windows, who does what, blah, blah, blah. Notes are graded individually, then they gotta compile a report together and it’ll get graded on cooperation and teamwork and all that nauseating bullshit.

It’s Monday. They’ve been sitting in the same car for all of fifteen minutes, and she’s already tempted to blow her own brains out. Maybe that’s his real superpower.

Or maybe he just has a screw loose.

In which case the place they’re ‘staking out’ — ‘Ramen Palace’ — might just be perfect for him. It’s a ramen chain established about six years back that has three different branches in Tokyo and looks fancy. They’ve got a bar for sauces, condiments, toppings, they’ve got a drink machine, and they’ve got great interior design going on. Problem is their food is absolute garbage. Cheap, shitty, garbage. It’s so bad it even got on the warning channels in one of the food forums she follows when she’s bored.

> i think these guys just gave me instant ramen. BAD instant ramen.
> LMFAO at least they gave u some giant fucking scallions to go w it. or are they freakishly small leeks
> who puts leeks in instant ramen???????
> the broth literally looks like mud 🤢

All in all, the perfect place to take Kurokami.

---

Kurokami Gen

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[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for 𝕐 + 𝕐

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“You know, when I let you pick the joint I was hoping you’d take me to a good Chinese joint. I’m talking real Jade Palace-looking gourmet shit. But checking out the yelp reviews, this place is ASS!” [break][break]

On the passenger-side seat, Gen merely scrolled through his phone. Despite the nature of the assignment, he’d opted against bringing any special surveillance gear. No binoculars, no directional mics, not even a cooler for some sandwiches or rice balls. Just some cans of Monster Energy for himself and his trusty silver tongue. Of course, he didn’t come empty-handed in that regard, but that wasn’t plain for the queen goth bitch to see.[break][break]

Putting the phone away for a second, Gen would turn to his partner for this occasion. She was, of course, the wheelwoman in this situation. Something about how ‘that’s beneath him’’ and how ‘that’s a job for an extra like you’, capped with, ‘you think J.K. Rowling drove herself to those book signings?’. You know, the kind of self-serving egomaniacal bullshit Gen loved to spout to anyone who would listen, and especially to those who didn’t want to.[break][break]

“‘This where you take all your dates?” Of course, he’d decided to spend every minute of the assignment trying to get on that goth bitch’s nerves. Maybe if she tried beating him up, he could go home early. I mean, its not like this was a real stakeout. The school would’ve never approved this outing if there was any suspicion of foul play inside those doors. “‘Cause the simps you date might not have the backbone to say anything, but let me tell you, sister...” [break][break]

“Your taste in food’s looking almost as bad as your taste in men.”[break][break] Keyword being "almost".

[attr="class","curragebot"] Love, your hate [break]Your faith lost.[break] You are now [break] One of us.

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[𝕐 + 𝕐]

[attr="class","body"]This… is gonna be a long fucking week.

Hours pass. Literal hours.

Damn it. What was that advice Baobao gave her for dealing with this asshole? ‘Agree with him on something - he always sounds like he’s looking for a fight and says outrageous stuff, but the thing is some of it makes sense and he's always weirded out when I tell him that.’

Yeah, well. Easier said than done when all the sewage he’s spewing has nothing to do with the shit he HAS said that she’d agree with. Impressively, it’s not even what he’s saying that’s getting under her skin right now. It’s the fact that in the last however-long-it’s-been since they got here and the guy hasn’t stopped talking for more than a handful of seconds.

Don’t hit him, Yaoyao... Don’t hit him. Please don’t hit him. Do not fucking hit him.

Eventually, she grits her teeth, rests her head against the steering wheel, and takes a few breaths just to convince herself not to drive ‘em both into a street sign.

Her phone lights up — new responses to the Ramen Palace thread.

[ legitimately the worst tori paitan i have ever had. save urself and ur tastebuds. AVOID. ]
[ how are they still in business lmao ]
[ oh I know this place. the one in the bank district is near my job but is always full of thugs so I never went. wouldnt be surprised if it was a yakuza hangout spot, lol. ]

If only they were. At least that’d give her something to do.

“How. How do you manage to spend this much time talking, and still not say anything actually important? What are you? Are you a chihuahua, yapping endlessly like that? How the fuck are you not tired of the sound of your own goddamn voice?”

---

Kurokami Gen

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[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for 𝕐 + 𝕐,

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“Well, its a very pretty sound, if I do say so myself.” Hand on his chest, Gen didn’t waste another opportunity to extol his gifts. He did put a lot of effort into his register, though that was to make it as annoying as humanly possible. “Not as pretty as hearing you get your panties in a twist over it, but its a close second.”[break][break]

“Besides, we’re gonna’ be here a while”, pulling a lever on his side, the back of his seat slowly sunk back, until he was practically horizontal. He was perfectly positioned to take a nap. That did come at the unfortunate drawback of having a worse vantage point on the girl's rack, but it wasn't like they were that impressive to begin with. “Gotta’ do something to pass the time.”

Seeing as how Yy-chan wasnt letting him anywhere near the radio, something had to fill the dead air. “As much fun as it is to see you gloom and sulk in silence like the Hot Topic emo bitch you are”—without a care in the world, he’d put both of his legs on the dashboard—”it just doesn’t cut it.”[break][break]

“You’re free to contribute something actually interesting, though”, he paused for a moment, before adding: “or you can be a doll and fetch me some coffee. Either way, I don’t mind.”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Love, your hate [break]Your faith lost.[break] You are now [break] One of us

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[𝕐 + 𝕐]

[attr="class","body"]Typical. Irritatingly, painfully, annoyingly typical. That last comment does get a scoff of laughter out of her, though. Even if she’s laughing more at his sheer fucking gall than she’s laughing with him.

“If I gave you coffee, Kurokami, it’d come complimentary with arsenic in it. ’N get your damn feet off the dash if you wanna keep ‘em attached.”

The only reason she’s being nice — so nice — and giving him a warning is because the car is Kei’s, and he probably wouldn’t be all that happy if she got blood on the dashboard. Especially on the first day of borrowing it. Even if that blood belongs to Kurokami. Who, by the way, is the sole reason this is taking ten times as long as it would if the teach’d had the good sense to pair her up with anybody else. Or let her work alone, even.

See, if she were by herself, this whole assignment would be a piece of cake. But with Kurokami around? Kurokami who seems physically incapable of shutting the fuck up? She can barely even hear herself — or Lili, for that matter — think over the constant drone of his needling.

Yeah, no. Yaoyao’s annoyed and bored.

“This is so. Fucking. Boring.” She bumps her forehead against the steering wheel. Maybe if she does it hard enough to brain herself on the thing, she'll get out of this stupid assignment and out of having to deal with him.

---

Kurokami Gen

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[Kurokami Gen]

[nospaces]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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written for 𝕐 + 𝕐

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Gen didn’t pay any mind to the goth girl’s warning. He simply kept his feet on the dash, merely cracking a smile at her veiled threat. “Why bother? I’d regrow them, and then you’d have to clean up the mess anyway…” Unlike the rest of the school, he had nothing to worry about. She was all bark, no bite. The only way she’d ever go through with it is if he hurt that annoying boy toy of hers, and even then, that manlet would probably stop her.[break][break]

Honestly, Gen didn’t know why he even needed a partner for this one. Putting aside the fact that the school would never sanction this if there was so much as a chance of anything happening inside that joint, this kind of stuff was a piece of cake. Gathering info on people without their knowledge? That was an average Tuesday night for him. Maybe they wanted him to share his expertise with Yao, but with her demeanor, he knew that wasn’t happening anytime soon.[break][break]

“Well, get used to it”, he fired back at her complaints. “This is the closest you’ll get to doing actual hero work in this racket.” Investigating leads, keeping watch on suspects, working late nights. It wasn’t flashy, but so far, it had been the only valuable thing they taught in this stupid school. “You think you solve crime by just signing autographs, selling merch, and occasionally punching some poor sod out?”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[𝕐 + 𝕐]

[attr="class","body"]Yaoyao don’t—

Too late. She doesn’t bother giving him any sorta warning this time. An arm just snaps out, whip-quick and paired with a replica conjured outa wisping energy so dark purple it’s just shy of black. She grabs his ankles where they are on the dash, and she doesn’t break ‘em. No. That’d be more trouble than he’s worth. But she does squeeze - hard. Enough to bruise. Enough to make the bones creak and grind in her grip. Enough to make the skin go sheet-white under her fist.

Her voice comes out low. Calm. Lethal.

“I’m gonna say it one more time, and then not again. Keep your feet off the dash in my boyfriend’s car, or you’ll lose them. And once you lose 'em, I will tank the suspension, or expulsion, or whatever happens when you inevitably go bitching, and then I’ll track you down once I don’t have to deal with this fucking university and its rules, and I’ll finally be able to deal with you with the gloves off.”

In the back of their brain she can hear Lili fretting, anxious, concerned. Worried about hurting this sack of shit, but also worried about it coming back to bite Yaoyao. She’s too damn nice for her own good.

---

Kurokami Gen

[newclass=.body b]color:#5a43d2[/newclass]

[Kurokami Gen]

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Miseria Cantare

Love, your hate Your faith lost

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Pain was one way to get his attention. From the back of the car, his eyes widened in response to both the physical and ethereal limbs squeezing his legs. He loved when she got like this, or at least, he would’ve, if she wasn’t trying to leave him wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. Despite the obvious threat to life and especially limb, all Gen could muster in response was pithy chuckle. “Of course, then you’d have to explain how you got blood all over your boy toy’s car. He paused, before adding. “Would love to see the look on his face then."[break][break]

Despite those words, Gen was woefully unprepared for a full fight with his driver, especially at this range. His feet began to slide down, slowly. “As fun as that would be, though”—he milked every second of the process—”even if you did somehow pull that off, the school would just make us do this again with someone more annoying on the other seat, like Jack or... Balloon Boy.” All throughout, he made sure to wipe the sole of his shoe on the dash. One last act of spite, before admitting defeat. “There, you happy?”[break][break]

[attr="class","curragebot"] Radiate, recognize one silent call as we all form one dark flame.

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[𝕐 + 𝕐]

[attr="class","body"]Petty bastard. Then again, it’s not like she’s any better. But he took his stupid shoes off the dash, so she got what she wanted.

”I’d be happier to see your dick in a blender and to watch the remains be fed to pigs, but I’ll settle for this, sure.” It might be the sweetest tone he’ll ever hear her speak near him with, for all that it’s sickeningly fake and dripping with revulsion. A win is a win, though. She turns back to the mind-numbingly boring view they’ve got of the worst ramen place the city’s seen in the last decade or two, uses a cloth from out of the glove compartment to wipe the dash clean, and then it occurs to her that that was…

Pathetic, actually, for someone who supposedly had access to ever goddamn quirk he’d ever come into contact with and wanted for himself.

But for all that she wants to mock him ruthlessly for it, Lili’s voice is a louder clamor in their head; reminding Yaoyao that he *did* do as she’d asked and put his feet down, even if she’d had to threaten him to do it, and that maybe they could recognize that and not try to break his feet again just to prove a point in return. So she growls under her breath, swallows down the irritating curiosity, and forces herself to pick back up on a different thread instead.

“And by the way. ‘Merch and autographs’ — don’t make me sick. The whole thing is a joke. I’d rather be stuck in a car doing recon than go to a single one of those stupid shallow interviews. All of it’s bullshit. At least investigation might be actually productive. And don’t get me started on the rank system, or you’ll piss me off bad enough that I might actually break your feet off.”

---

Kurokami Gen

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