[Penny ✾]

Fish are ugly, stinky, and gross.

Much like her ex-husband, actually. Which means she was all the more eager to volunteer for The Tokyo Bay Evacuation Project. The branding was awful. The people were unimpressive. But they did give her leeway to take out her frustrations on an invasive mutant species seeking to conquer the land. Whether or not they failed didn’t matter. Hell, if they promised Rav a slow, painful death, she would gladly let them takeover this dump of an island. Anywhere he lives is a certified trashpile.

Penny was paired with a couple of shmucks. To be fair, she was one, too. There was nothing special about her. There was only her ambition to rectify what was wrong with the Earth. First and foremost, a guilty man walked free. Penny could forgive theft. Penny could forgive murder. Penny could not, however, forgive a lowlife who cheats on his beautiful, stunning, hot, perfect wife with a — ugh, shudders just thinking about it — twenty-whatever-year old.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. With her frappe almost finished, she carried the leftover ice as ammunition against the sea creatures.

“Ummm? Where are the fish?”

“In the water ma’am.”

“Then get them lol?”

“We’re only here to evacuate the civilians.”

“The civilians?? I thought we were evacuating the fish.”

“F-from where?”

“The bay? Duh?”

“T-that’s not how that…”

SPLASH!

A giant octopus pops out from the ocean, throwing a rock in their direction. Penny rolls out the way as one of the shmucks gets their leg caught in debris.

“I did NOT sign up for a hen—”

CRASH!

The giant rock lands. No one’s hurt.

For now.

---

Pim Finnegan Daiana

[Daiana]

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who the hell's out here getting pizza delivery in the middle of an entire ass beach evacuation? some random dude, apparently. a little crusty, but very nice in the delivery notes, saying please and thank you. kind of like a little white dog... oh well. daiana doesn't really give a shit. she can handle herself, and if a guy wants pizza, she's gonna give him his goddamn pizza.[break][break]

enter daiana from stage left, grinding down a railing lining a big set of stairs that leads down to the beach on a skateboard. she's got a big thermal-controlled backpack on her back and a sun visor around her forehead to protect her face from the rays, but no helmet to protect her head from a skateboard related concussion. when she dismounts from the railing a little bit away from the bottom, she skids to a stop on the beach with enough force to send a spray of sand directly a a pretentious-looking orange-haired lady talking in a weird voice at some poor dude just tryna do his job. daiana rapidly kicks her skateboard into her hands to go on foot, and only then realizes she's definitely just ruined someone's day. she's not about to stick around to find out the consequences though! oops, sorry lady! and off she goes towards an old guy standing beneath an umbrella with a few preteen-to-early-tweenager aged kids.[break][break]

my pizza![break][break]

daiana rapidly flings the two boxes of cheese pizza from her bag to hand to the guy. here you go, man. daiana briefly takes stock of her surroundings. "so, uhhh... why are you still here?[break][break]

the kids are already feasting on the pizza like little demons. the guy hardly pays them any attention. whaddya mean?[break][break]

daiana briefly gestures to the rest of the beach. there's monsters everywhere man.[break][break]

the guy's eyes light up. oh, yeah. i planned to hang out on the beach with the kids for weeks, so here we are.[break][break]

don't really care about the uhhh octopuses and stuff?[break][break]

the guy thinks, then thinks, and then thinks, before responding. i don't like to get political, but i think they should go back to their own country.[break][break]

oh. that sounds racist. also do octopuses even have countries? is that both racist and stupid? wow. some people really have it all. whatever! daiana's gonna leave him to his pizza. ooookay then. uh, bye!" and off she goes, stopped in her tracks only by a very large rock falling right in front of her! damn, that was close, she can still feel the wind rushing past her face. did it come from that weird ass octopus in the sea? looks like it. siiiiigh. she might as well help out while she's here. is someone screaming?[break][break]

peering around, daiana finds that the screaming is coming from a hero that's gotten his leg irreparably crush beneath a boulder. yowch. best get him out from under there. comign around to his side of the boulder, daiana pushes up on the rock for a few seconds, and though it budges only slightly, it's just enough to let the guy crawl out from underneath and dislodge himself entirely. upon seeing him safe, daiana lets go of the boulder and checks him over with her eyes. why don't you crawl up the beach or something so you don't break anything else, k?

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Pim Finnegan
Penny ✾

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